Vrai Ou Faux?

I apologize for the French; I’ve been in a mood where all I want to do is learn French lately.

Today’s blog post title is translated into “True or False?” I’m choosing to write about this because for my entire life, I’ve had a hard time with putting too much trust into people. As a child, I put too much trust into my first step-father, and it ended up with me being molested at six years old to the time I was 12. This summer, I cast fate to the wind with several very unusual people and ended up being raped after I drank three Long Island Iced Teas at the bar and overcame my fear of singing.

Do you feel scared to trust others?

I know I do. Half the time, I push away the people that mean well and bring in the people who want to do harm. It’s left me with the rocky relationships I’ve had in my adult life, and it continues to plague me to this very second. A little while ago, I just put some monetary resources into a money hoarding scheme, thinking I could be a part of getting the money and never having to worry about where my food comes from again.

Am I going to worry about it and not fight for my money back? No. I’m going to call once I meet the requirements and get my goddamn refund, because who wants to let them have what they want?

How do you do that? How do you build up the courage to do something about it without having it eat you alive?

This question is extremely hard for me to answer because everyone is different. Even though I say what I say, it won’t work for everyone. But what works for me is using my anger to propel me forward, and channeling it into a funnel that motivates me to do what I should do. In this case, I’m angry that I got ripped off. Instead of doing what instinct wants me to do, which is to lash out at everyone around me and not fight back at what took my money, I’m going to do the opposite and not only get my money back, but take with me that hare-brained schemes shouldn’t be trusted.

The biggest part in all of this is that you have to admit you got bit by the snake. I got bitten by the snake, and I got bit hard. The snake isn’t poisonous at all, it’s just painful to have fangs digging into your epidermis. And if this analogy could be taken literally, my lower legs would be scarred severely with indents from snake bites.

I’m not ready to be forceful, or do “what’s right”.

And you know what the beauty of everything is?

That it’s okay if you aren’t. There is no one right or wrong thing to do. If someone didn’t want to get their money back from the same thing I got ripped off from, then that’s okay because that’s their decision. The important thing is doing what makes you comfortable and happy.

Happiness is the one true thing you should strive for. Do what makes you happy or most comfortable. I want you to be happy.

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