Happy New Year! I hope your New Year’s is prosperous, enjoyable, and a fun event for you. It’s definitely been interesting for myself.
If I had the friends and wasn’t on all the medications I’m currently on, I would probably be out partying, drinking, and just flat out making a mess out of myself. However, I’m in a situation where instead of partying my brains out, I’m reflecting back on my time in 2013.
Was 2013 really worth it for you? What did you do besides making this blog?
I’ve done a number of both good and bad things. I got out from under my parents’ wing and lived on my own for a little bit. I got to work multiple jobs in a variety of fields. I met interesting people. I viewed new ways of life I had never been exposed to prior to this year. Unfortunately, I lost ties with these interesting people, was raped in one occasion, quit all my jobs, so on and so forth.
You still didn’t answer my question. Was 2013 really worth it?
Yes. And I’ll tell you why.
I finally figured out why all the bad stuff was happening to me. I figured out why I felt so depressed, why I had the desire to keep cutting myself, and why I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of my life. Part of it is due to my Borderline Personality Disorder, depression, PTSD, all that good stuff. The other part is that I’ve finally got it in my head that I need to change myself. I am the one who chose all my situations to get into. Whether it was quitting my jobs or cutting ties with people, I made a conscious choice and I’m better for it.
(This does not apply to the rape part though. I never want to condone that this is okay, ever.)
Here’s the million dollar question: What are your resolutions for 2014?
I wouldn’t call them resolutions…more like goals. Plain and simple goals. I don’t like resolutions because they’re gimmicky and rely on the millions of even more gimmicky commercials that get peppered in our daily lives for the first two months of the year. Goals feel more meaningful and have less stigma.
Anyway, my biggest goal is to keep on working on this blog. I’m so happy I had the idea to start this blog, and I’m even happier for everyone that decides to follow it. I’m really exposing a lot of myself on here that I don’t do to people in my daily life and it’s so refreshing to be accepted and have my ideas heard.
Another big goal for myself is the main outcome I want for this blog: to finally love myself for who I am as a person. My therapist likes to say there’s a little kid version of myself inside of me that needs more love than anything right now. I’ve hidden behind books, video games, and other media to cover up my unhappiness and hatred of myself, and I’m finally putting that all away. It’s about time I take care of that little kid inside of me and start enjoying my life.
What are your goals for 2014?
Are you happy with who you are today? If not, do you want to make goals to change that for the better in the coming year? Would you rather start on that new knitting craving you’ve developed or something else?
The really cool thing about goals and the start of a new year is the promise of something new and different. If you don’t have any goals you want to work on right now, that’s okay, too. The important thing is for you to be happy. You need to do what will make you happy, what will make you be the better person you know you are.
Thank you, everyone. And thank you especially for being you.