Hi! I’m glad you’re reading this. If you don’t know much about me, this is a great place to start.
My name is Emily. I’m a 25 year old female living in the Southwest United States. People would best describe me as silly, fun, and wicked intelligent on a good day. For myself, however, I couldn’t tell you my best traits on a good day.
Why? Are you stupid?
No, not really. In October 2013, I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I have diagnoses of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Major Depression Disorder (MDD) along with BPD, but being borderline has been my biggest challenge. For years I’ve loathed myself because I was made to believe by parents, significant others, peers, siblings, and teachers that I wasn’t important enough to deserve respect, love, kindness, etc. I knew that something was wrong with me because I never felt “normal.” I always felt like I could never really describe myself accurately, especially once I got older and more aware of what was going on around me.
So why are you here making this blog?
I made this blog so that I could remind myself that I am a worthy person in general and for others to know that they are worthy as well. Although I love the self improvement blogs I read, I got sick and tired of reading stories of improving yourself from international superstars who already have their life together. I wanted to read stuff that came from an average person…a person like me, you know?
Why accept BPD instead of getting rid of it?
You can’t break out of an illness, and most definitely not a personality disorder. However, you can accept it for what it is and reach out to improve yourself every day through therapy and medication. I’m sure when I turn 50 years old it won’t be as much of a problem for me now because by then I’ll have accepted myself for who I am, but right now I’m just starting my journey. This is how I view it, anyway.
Why do you write the way you do in your blog?
I have the little voice inside my head that tells me every single little thing that’s negative. I’m going on the basis that other people do because I’ve been on the other side of the screen, telling myself I’m too depressed to do a suggestion a self-improvement site throws at me. Giving reassurance that it’s okay to feel the way you do and it’s okay to be with your present emotions makes me feel better as a blogger, and as a person.
How often do you update your blog?
I try to update this blog every 2-3 days. Although I wish I could update this every day, sometimes I can’t because of the way my schedule is right now.
Is there anything else interesting about you besides your crazy head problems?
I have a Sun in Scorpio, a Moon in Taurus, and an Ascendant in Aquarius. I love to be tanning and by pools in the summer. I want to become a crazy cat lady once I have my own place. I also enjoy long baths while listening to smooth jazz, doing sudoku and crossword puzzles, and have had the insatiable itch to start cross-stitching.